How to choose a genuine spiritual guide

There is a great deal of exploitation in spiritual services. People arrive having already paid a large sum to someone who frightened them first. Families have been turned against each other by a claim that an aunt or a neighbour “did something”. Savings intended for a daughter’s wedding have gone to a stranger promising to lift something that was never there.

What follows is written from inside the field, because the honest practitioners have the most to lose from it.

Nine warning signs

1. Fear comes first. You are told, often within minutes, that you or your family are under attack, cursed or targeted. Fear is the oldest sales technique there is.
2. An outcome is guaranteed. A marriage restored, a person made to return, a business made successful, a visa approved. Nobody can promise these things.
3. The price keeps rising. An initial fee, then a larger sum because the matter is “deeper than expected”, then more to “complete” the work. Genuine guidance does not work on escalation.
4. You are named a culprit. A specific relative or neighbour is identified as the source. The damage this does inside families lasts for years and is often irreparable.
5. Objects are sold with promises attached. An item, a taweez, a ring or a bottle presented as producing a result. Be very careful.
6. Secrecy is demanded. You are told not to discuss it with your family or anyone else. Isolation protects the practitioner, not you.
7. Medical advice is contradicted. You are told to stop medication, avoid a doctor, or treat an illness as purely spiritual. This is dangerous, and it has cost lives.
8. Nothing is verifiable. No real address, no working number you can call back on, no clear description of what is offered, no willingness to answer direct questions.
9. Pressure to decide now. Urgency — “it must be done tonight” — is designed to prevent you thinking or consulting anyone.

Questions worth asking before you pay anyone

• What exactly will you do, in plain language?
• What is the total cost, and could anything be added later?
• What are you not able to help with?
• Is there any situation in which you would tell me to see a doctor?
• Can I bring a family member to the consultation?
• What happens to what I tell you?

An honest practitioner answers all six without discomfort. Evasion on any of them is your answer.

What good guidance actually looks like

It is quieter and less dramatic than people expect. Someone listens for a long time. They ask questions about ordinary things — sleep, money, who you have spoken to, what changed and when. They make dua with you. They give you specific supplications and two or three practical steps. They tell you plainly if part of your situation needs a doctor, a lawyer or the police.

They do not tell you that you are cursed. They do not promise a result. They do not mind you thinking it over or discussing it with your family, and they are still willing to speak to you if you decide not to book anything.

If you have already been exploited

You are far from alone, and it is not a failure of intelligence — these approaches are designed to work on people at their most worn down and worried. Stop further payments, tell someone you trust, and keep any messages or receipts. If a significant sum is involved, report it: in the UK to Action Fraud, and in Pakistan to the FIA’s cybercrime wing where it happened online.

Then, when you are ready, seek a second opinion from someone who does not begin with fear.

Common questions